Stitching
by Rangerskirt
Summary: When his mother is taken from him Erik is sure he will never love again. It feels like there is a gaping hole in his chest where his heart used to be. So if his heart is gone how is he feeling this pang in his chest whenever he looks at that silly optimistic telepath who keeps smiling at him. Maybe it isn't gone, maybe it just needs a little stitching.


Title: Stitching

Rating: M

Pairings/Characters: Cherik(Charles Xavier x Erik Lehnsherr), other characters mentioned.

Summary: When his mother is taken from him Erik is sure he will never love again. It feels like there is a gaping hole in his chest where his heart used to be. So if his heart is gone how is he feeling this pang in his chest whenever he looks at that silly optimistic telepath who keeps smiling at him. Maybe it isn't gone, maybe it just needs a little stitching.

Warnings: Depressing thoughts, mentions of thoughts of suicide, sex mentioned not too graphically.

Started as a character study for Erik and then turned into this. Movie-verse, sort of a fix it I guess?

* * *

When his mother is shot that day in Auschwitz Erik feels, no he knows he will never love again. It feels as if his heart has been yanked from his chest leaving a black hole that only consumes and grows wider the longer it's left ripped open.

Nothing matters after that, the pain Shaw causes him is nothing and all but feels numb, but it makes him grow stronger and he holds onto the pain tightly to fill the new gap. So when the man abandons this whole place, leaving him still too weak to try and exact his revenge, the world still feels numb despite the fact that this camp is now free of Nazi's and all of these slaves are free. Except for him of course, he will never be free of this void in his chest that pulls wider and wider as the years swift by.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

It isn't like he hasn't tried to feel something again, after everything he'd been through of course he wanted to be able to. He trains himself as he searches the world for Shaw, Erik has become quite powerful and sadly enough quite bored with this life. All he wants is to kill the man who put this hole in him and then die in whatever pit he finds the most appealing afterward.

As he travels he meets plenty of beautiful girls, he's slept with a few, met attractive men also though he never slept with any of them. Maybe trade a few drinks, a couple of flirts here and there, but these are the 50's and not a time when homosexuality is just outright seen.

Erik remembers there had been this elderly woman, she had been walking down the street and her grocery bag had split from being wet and all of her things had spilled to the ground. Any good person would have stopped and picked up an apple or two, something and handed them back with a smile. Not Erik though, he walked by without a second glance.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

It's the early 60's when Erik is sickening more and more of feeling this way, the black hole in his chest feels like it's spreading to most of his other body as if poisoning him. His blood must be black, his bones are strong but ready to crack, his mind is...Well, let's just say when he passes by a cold river during one winter, during Hannukah nonetheless, he has a brief thought of throwing himself in and letting the cold water cleanse this filth inside of him.

The thought doesn't last long but it isn't the last to plague his mind.

Finally, he'd gotten a decent lead and all of that self-hatred and loathing turns into sheer desire to kill this one person yet again like it had when he began this. Erik is even stronger now so he feels if he can't beat Shaw now, he never will be able to.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

A coincidence that his first thought of ending his own life had been to throw himself into a river. Now several years later he is in a cold body of water and trying to pull Shaw's submarine back to him, subsequently pulling himself further under water as he is unable to do so. He feels the cold water clutching at his skin even through his wetsuit, the air is leaving his lungs quickly but still, he does not let go of that magnetic pull.

It almost feels good, sure maybe he is going to die but finally, it will be over and like he had thought, the cold water feels like it is cleansing all of this blackness out of his mind and body as his conscious gets fuzzy.

Erik knows he must be dying and starting to hallucinate then because he hears a voice clear as day under water. That can't be right though, he briefly remembers learning your brain can't make up people on a whim and needs to have heard or seen them somewhere before. He never remembers hearing this voice, it's very distinct and well, British.

That was the night Charles Xavier saved his life for the first time.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

He'd never known there were people like him before outside of Shaw and himself. So as he stood on top of the yacht with government agents standing around in the dark of night, Erik can't tear his eyes off of Charles. The young man must be close to his age and just like him, is shivering cold from jumping into that cold water. "Why did-" He starts to ask why, just why couldn't Charles let him die in that water, he can't beat Shaw and he knows that now so why even bother?

Before he can finish barely a phrase, this young scholar is holding a towel and walks over to him in a stride. Instead of using it for himself though, Charles smiles and half throws and tugs the towel around Erik's dripping and shivering shoulders. "You were dying, I didn't want that to happen."

Maybe it's because the cold water has purged his blood of that numbing feeling for awhile but Erik could swear he felt a small pang...in the middle of his chest where his heart used to be. Staving it off as a fluke and his body being frigid cold, he thinks nothing more of that. Though he does catch himself several times over the evening letting his eyes wander in Charles' direction.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

It's much the same over the next day, he's being taken to the government facility that Charles is going to be helping to find more mutants. They don't really speak, verbally or telepathically, but his eyes glance every once in awhile. There's an odd feeling Erik hasn't felt in a long time, a sort of connection albeit not a super strong one as of yet. Charles is by far the most strange person he's ever had the chance of meeting.

When Erik attempts to leave one night, Charles catches him and tries to sway him into staying with sweet words. He tells himself that he's staying to learn more about his people, mutants, he is only staying because Charles saved his life and Erik can't deny that he's curious about the young would-be-professor.

It isn't that Hank or Raven aren't interesting, their mutations are extraordinary by Erik's thought and standards. They just don't feel the same, Charles' looks at him with such vigor all of the time despite the two of them barely speaking. He dove into that water for him, is always talking his ear off now about going on this soon to be road-trip to find these mutants, meet them and recruit them.

"Erik this is going to be wonderful! Raven and I had never met other mutants before until you, and Hank. I can't wait to see what they're like, what they can do, oh gosh I hope their lives have been alright-!" he blabbers on and on one evening in excitement but his words don't fall on deaf ears despite how uninterested looking Erik is attempting to appear.

"Me too." Erik suddenly chimes in but then corrects himself, "I mean...I'm very interested too, I'd like to meet them." There's just something contagious about Charles' excitement over this matter.

They both agree to go to their rooms for a much needed night sleep, but before Charles leaves the room he stops in the doorway and glances back. "It's good to see you smiling my friend...I'd like to see that on your face more often."

Had he been smiling? _Fuck._

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

No! There's nothing wrong with smiling, he's just excited to meet these mutants he had never known existed!

That was it though...Erik was excited, so damn excited and he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this way. It wasn't the sort of excitement he got when he caught close up with Shaw, it was genuine fun excitement rippling through his fingertips. All because of that damn little telepath down the hall in another room.

The road trip is much better than expected. Being on the road for two months straight, searching for mutants who might want nothing to do with them, being stuck with an optimistic professor in small hotel rooms. It didn't sound all that appealing at first but Erik was finding it quite nice.

They were a month in and already the two of them had found a nice rhythm with each other. When they found a mutant they talked to them the best they could, explained their pitch, and if the mutant was interested they were given the address and sent to the government facility for debriefing.

Then afterward it would usually be late, Erik and Charles would usually have a drink at a local bar and then head back to the hotel they were staying at for the night. Neither of them ever got plastered but they had drunken enough to know each other's favorite drinks by now, Erik tended to prefer beer of German type if possible, Charles liked Scotch or anything he could swallow down honestly.

Usually in their room, if they were bored, which was likely since neither of them was too fond of television shows, they would talk. About this and that, stupid things, political things, most of the time they didn't agree on the latter and they would argue.

Erik had never argued with someone before Charles, he simply threatened them and yanked out their metal fillings or something similar before they would give in to his wants and views. With Charles there was none of that, Erik didn't find any want in his body or thoughts to shout and demand that Charles was wrong and intimidate him, they both made their correct and wrong points. It was just like their many games of chess they played often enough, it was a game, sometimes Charles won, sometimes Erik won and it was kind of exciting to see who would best who for the evening.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

By the end of their recruiting trip, Erik almost doesn't want it to end. He's laughed and smiled more during this trip than he had in the last five years altogether. Even if Charles has made him irritated and frown just as often, those times were much more easily forgotten.

It feels like life and warmth have started to return to his skin and the hole in his chest is gently and slowly being stitched closed by this young man, who looks at him with such adoring eyes Erik can't believe it. Charles has seen so much in his head, so much of the bad, and he still manages to look at Erik in that perfect way.

It isn't love, but his caring for Charles at this point is deep. Very deep.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Of course, nothing ever goes smoothly for him, the government building is compromised and one of their young recruits...he doesn't make it. One of them fled with Shaw as well. This is when Charles takes them back to his families mansion in Westchester to try and train by themselves.

As it turns out Charles is an excellent teacher for the young mutants, helping them control their powers and use them in ways they never thought to. It makes them more confident, more happy, and stronger, and it makes Erik utterly damn jealous.

He wants them all to learn and be how they are, but seeing Charles give them similar amazed looks as he does to Erik makes the metal bender feel a little heat in his clenched palms.

They still have lots of time together though, everything evening Erik goes for a jog and Charles likes to join in. They have their talks but now it's mostly about everyone else's progress and Erik for once is tuning Charles out as they jog side by side.

So one evening after their jog Erik gives a smirk and said, "You wanted to help me too right? So come on and do it!" he tempts the young man in front of him, the one shakily holding a gun to Erik's forehead.

He wants to show off so badly, to have that spark in Charles' eye return to him solely for just a few more minutes today than usual. So he's goaded the professor into shooting at him, which Charles can't end up doing. Instead, Charles switches it around and tempts Erik into turning the large satellite in the distance.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

He can't turn it and Erik knows that, but he tries anyway because maybe if he can just inch the damn thing it will make Charles amazed again. He can't though. That's when Charles digs into his head, very gently and with permission of course, and pulls forward a memory Erik didn't know he still had.

A birthday with his mother, the one right before they'd been taken away to the camps. Their last really happy memory together before Erik had lost his sense of love and caring for the world.

"That was a beautiful memory Erik. Now please, try to move the satellite again." Those blue eyes glance to the distance and then back at him with a smile. "What's wrong my friend, are you alright-ah Erik!?" a hand reaches forward and grabs the front of Charles' sweat-shirt roughly and yanks him forward.

Erik isn't as gentle about it as he wanted to be as he crushes their mouths together, his blood pumping fast now. His eyes are clenched shut and his free hand extends towards the satellite and can feel the damn thing move with such ease Erik has never known. Lowering his hand, at the same time Erik opens his very green eyes and releases Charles from both a lip lock and the rough hold on his clothing.

He's sure this is it, all the time Charles has spent trying to gently stitch together the gash in his chest thread by thread, it will all come ripping open now. Surely he'll be disgusted by this awful and slightly forced display Erik has put him through. Then he can finally go back to how things are supposed to be, numb and awful and risking his life to kill Shaw and nothing more.

There's a moment of complete silence between them where Charles is seemingly just registering what had just happened and where it had come from. Turning his head the shorter man grins then, "Erik..hey you did it!" and then claps a hand on Erik's shoulder without hesitation, no hint of disgust. "You're amazing."

In that brief moment, Erik feels utterly complete.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

That night was the first time they made love. They hadn't mentioned the earlier kiss but went on with their normal day, eating dinner, and then having a drink over a game of chess. Somehow that chess match was like foreplay that night and lead to Erik holding Charles' hand and pulling him urgently upstairs to his room at the far end of the hall.

Erik has never been with another man before, and neither has Charles, but they find their way one way or another. It's clumsy and messy and sometimes Erik is sure he's being too rough and he would hesitate, only to have the man under him give him sweet assuring gestures. He doesn't want to hurt Charles, far from it.

After making sure each other was happily sated, the two of them laid next to each other in bed and looking up at the unmoving ceiling fan. Giving small pants at different intervals, Charles is a little embarrassed and pulled the sheets up to his stomach, but Erik has left himself naked. As if to ingrain this into both of their minds that yes, that just happened.

Glancing at each other a moment later they both smile, Charles is a bit shy which is completely unlike his normally outgoing and bubbling attitude. It's cute so Erik moves and cups Charles' chin with a hand and leans over to kiss him in a slow manner, which is happily returned. Feeling a need simmer in his lower stomach Erik flips himself to be completely over Charles again and he says in the lightest and most carefree tone Charles has ever heard from him, "I want to do it again. Ok? It'll be way better this time."

He's already started moving to pull Charles legs apart only to hear a small laugh from the professor. "Ok ok! Haha, ah don't touch there it tickles!" They're both able to manage going at it one more time that night together before collapsing in a cluster of limbs, sweat and pure enjoyment between them both for the night and letting sleep consume them.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Erik feels like an idiot as he wakes up, it seems during the night both of them had gotten hot and drifted away from each other on the bed. Charles was half hanging off of his side and Erik feels a smile cross his face, reaching and pulling the limp body back fully to the mattress. Settling down behind him Erik rubs his thumb slowly down one of his sleeping partners arms, then nuzzling Charles' shoulder and planting a few kisses along the warm skin.

 _He's such an idiot._

Erik tells himself that over and over, Charles is an idiot for letting Erik do all of those things to him last night and somehow enjoying it. He's sure this can't be real, feeling this way has to be a dream. But when Charles makes and absolutely adorable noise waking up and pushes himself up on his elbows to look at Erik, then moves to kiss him as a first instinct...Erik knows he can't get away from this. Can't talk himself down or ruin this for himself no matter how hard he tries.

Every night they spend in the mansion from then on is filled with sweet kisses and love making in one of their beds, usually Eriks. It only gets better the more they do it anyways so it only becomes more addicting.

Strangely Erik finds, sex hasn't changed their daily life at all. They treat each other the same, teasing, arguing, discussing, chess, teaching. The two of them aren't overly sweet to each other and sex also hasn't caused any tension or hiding between them. Neither seems ready to hide this or flaunt the relationship they've started, Charles probably would know because of his power but Erik has no idea if any of the others know about them.

Never does he ask, but it never stops him from kissing Charles temple when the telepath looks deep in concentration, or him openly following the other man into the bathroom in the morning for a together-shower.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

It's only three nights after their first time, when they're in bed together, moving in slow but powerful movements. Charles' short fingernails are just barely scratching the skin on Erik's shoulders as he leans his head back into the pillows and clenches his eyes. Small noises escape him but the professor is so focused on the feeling of pleasure going through him that he can't think of anything else.

Erik is pressed down tight against him tonight as if holding him against the bed with all of his weight as they move together. They are both getting close and as the movements become faster and needier Charles hears a few grunts that are clear as day from Erik as the metal benders emerald green eyes stared down at him. "F...fuh...god...I love you. I love you." The telepath doesn't respond back but that seems to be just fine with Erik as they go on as if nothing had been said, although with a little more vigor and matching smiles on their faces.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The beach happens. Erik has let this happen, let both the missiles fall to the water and also let Charles get hurt. Shot no less. His immediate reaction is to pull the bullet out gently with his powers and then to hold Charles tightly to make him feel secure. "Fuck I am so sorry Charles I-!" Seeing the pain on the others face makes Erik stop though.

This is what he is, he's a monster. A free one now that Shaw is dead, he'd let his anger get the best of him and it ended up hurting the person in the world he cared about most, that he loved. Charles seems so good at pulling out emotions Erik hasn't felt in years, it started with warmth and affection, love of all things, but now he is so scared that Erik feels like a kid again.

Instead of Shaw hurting someone he loved, Erik had hurt him. Both Charles and Erik know that the taller man isn't mentally healthy from his life, so Charles tries not to take it too damn personally when he's left on the beach. Both Erik and Raven, along with a few others, abandoning him as he mutters that he can't feel his legs.

At the moment it feels like he can't feel his heart either without Erik's comforting hands holding him up out of the sand.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Erik is scared of facing Charles after what he did, and so he throws himself into helping mutant kind in his own way along with his newly formed Brotherhood. For the first few months, he is weak and sends flowers to Charles' hospital and then his home address almost constantly, no letter or sign from who but somehow he knows the telepath knows it's him.

This time apart actually does help Erik, he's started to settle into feeling like a person again. While being with Charles always felt amazing it also made him feel superhuman, of course, he was a mutant but that didn't make him as godly as he had felt with the other man. This was time to come down to earth, see his fellow kind and what they need from him but while also being able to actually feel for them now that Charles had managed to half stitch his old decrepit heart back into his chest.

Eventually, he stops sending flowers. He tries to move on, it just wasn't meant to be this little love of theirs and now they are both helping mutant kind in their own ways for the world. Erik feels for a time, that this is what the world is supposed to get from them both. Not some sniveling and tooth achingly sweet romance like from a book. It's better this way for them both.

At least that's what he tries to convince himself when he feels lonely at the ends of some days, peering over at a little chess set that apparently no one else wants to play with him.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Erik has been in prison for a few years now. They think he had tried to kill the president and Erik just never corrects them, not that these damn humans would believe him even if he tried to tell the truth.

Those years give him time to think a lot, about what he really wants. He lost all of his Brotherhood other than Raven, thank goodness...Erik had made sure to watch and train her especially well in all areas. In a way he did it for Charles, that girl was his most beloved family and Erik would be damned if she got killed out of stupidity or naivety he could have prevented.

He had been close with her too, and it seemed they did have one thing in common. They both cared deeply for that damn optimistic telepath, it bonded them together for a long time. Until Raven was feeling too lonely one night and was trying so hard to get Erik to sleep with her, she'd gotten angry as he refused all of her forms including her natural blue one. So she had resorted to changing into Charles and asking, "How about now huh?" Things hadn't healed between them because of that fight.

Now he knew though what he would say to her if he got to see Raven again, solitary confinement gave you so much time to think about what to say to people. Though later he would learn it didn't train you how to say it properly without coming off as an asshole.

Charles too especially was on his mind though he doubted that he'd ever see those bright blue eyes again and be able to hug and kiss the younger man like he wanted. Most days he doesn't crave sex, kissing, most days all Erik wishes is to have Charles and a chess set in here to play a game or two. Those had been some of the best times between them.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The metal bender isn't expecting a breakout, so when this speedy as hell kid gets him out and to the elevator like no other, he's impressed. Though a little motion sick for a moment, but still thoroughly impressed.

When the elevator doors open Erik sees a sight for sore eyes, it's Charles. He's walking! His hair is also much longer than Erik remembers, kind of unkept along with his now growing beard. The man is soaking from the sprinklers and it looks like there are bags under his eyes from lack of sleep. "Charles?"

That's when a fist hits him in the jaw and knocks him back against the elevator. Readjusting himself Erik rubs his jaw, if it had been anyone else having punched him Erik would have hit them back already. Not Charles though. Smiling through his stinging jaw Erik elates on how good it is to see Charles again, but the other man doesn't seem quite as happy to see him back.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

It's on the plane that everything is made clear, this Logan character from the future to come back and change things. Raven's blood having been taken and turned into a weapon to kill and hunt down all of mutant kind. Erik lets this information set in as they take off and Logan falls asleep on the other end of the plane.

He sees it coming but Erik doesn't hold back, they fight. Charles is angry, feeling abandoned for so long when he needed the people he loved by his side. All of Erik's resentment towards himself is starting to spill forward, but as usual it gets directed at the wrong person and unfortunately, the only person in front of him right now is Charles.

"I get it! I took your sister, I abandoned you there in pain and crippled on the beach Charles! I've been through pain too, I failed all of them, all of them are dead because of me!" he's yelling now and he can't stop, reaching forward Erik grabs Charles by his forearms roughly and holds him in place so he can't run away from Erik.

"But how dare you! How dare you fucking suppress your power so you can walk of all things!" It's so selfish to say since he isn't Charles. Maybe Erik doesn't mind the thought of Charles being in a wheel chair, other than guilt reasons, maybe he prefers the professor's beautiful mind and power over his legs. "I didn't fall in love with you because you could walk! I did because of everything in here-" he moves a hand to tap a finger on Charles' temple, "-and now you're all drugged up and barely the man I knew standing before me!" before he can continue Erik gets shoved away and also realizes he'd been moving the plane awkwardly, so he releases it.

Getting a pair of blue pained eyes glaring him down, filling with tears before the small man's figure disappears to the front of the plane.

Yes, Logan is definitely right when he says, _You were always an asshole Erik._

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

After settling down Erik realizes just how selfish his words had been and he wants Charles to know that he's sorry above anything else. He doesn't have to, but he finds an old chess board and plops it down in front of the telepath with a small smile. Requesting a game and a drink like they'd always used to do.

After a little talk, Erik is able to convince Charles to play with him. Being like this feels the same even when the rest of the world is completely different now, they're different men than they were. This little board in front of them though feels the same and familiar as they move pieces.

Even without his powers, Charles ends up winning. Unable to contain himself Erik stands up just a bit and leans over the chess board, letting a few pieces roll off and into the aisle. He kisses Charles, it's chaste and soft before he sits back down in his seat.

Erik is left unsure if it was the right thing to do, Charles is glaring at him but...he's also hiding a small blush that's spread across his cheeks.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

They find Raven before she is able to kill Dr. Trask and set their fate into destiny. Everyone from the room has fled but the few of them mutants and suddenly Erik is looking between Charles and Raven. The telepath is trying to soothe the blue girl, who had just been tased to the ground.

Things might never be the same between him and Charles like they used to be, but that doesn't mean he can't use his terrible mind to keep the person he loves safe. So he pulls a gun to himself and points it at Raven, both Charles and the girl are stunned looking down the barrel of the gun.

"Move Charles, I'm keeping you...I'm keeping all of us safe. We aren't while she still lives I'm sorry!"

In the end, Erik is happy he isn't able to kill Raven, in fact, him pissing her off might have just saved them all. It had caused Raven to save the president when Erik was attacking the Whitehouse only the next day, leading humans to believe most mutants good and not on the red threat radar anymore.

He's most surprised that in the end, when he doesn't have his helmet and his mind is at Charles' mercy, who has the most reason to hate him and be angry, the telepath lets him go instead of being captured.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Nothing will ever be like when he had been with Charles, his first love.

Erik is able to find love though, with a wonderful woman and they have a cute baby girl together named Nina. She's inherited the mutant gene despite her mother being human, she can communicate and somewhat control animals.

This love is very different from the one he had with Charles but that doesn't mean he cares about it any less. So when God decides to out him for saving a man at his work with his metal powers, when God decides that his wife and baby girl should die to an arrow in the woods, Erik isn't sure how to contain himself anymore.

 _He had tried, he had tried it Charles' way and been good. Living with and like the humans, being a good man, husband, father, worker, neighbor! Yet God decided he should go back to the path of destruction, this wasn't Erik's decision, it was Gods._

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

So he gave into what he thought the universe wanted from him. He'd gone to kill the men at the metal factory, only to be confronted and pulled into a new sort of group lead by this odd blue mutant claiming to actually be a God. He'd given Erik power beyond belief, the ability to feel through his anger and pain down into the earth and lift up almost anything, even things with the barest trace of metal in it.

As he tears down Auschwitz rapidly and feels through the earth, Erik could swear for a split second he can feel in his heart a wheel chair squeaking around a school. One with silly X wheels on it, but it doesn't make him stop following blindly through his grief.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Grief is controlling him now as that blackness in his chest swells apart again. Erik doesn't feel like himself anymore and that numbness comes over him. So when he's ordered to help kidnap Charles, he does so easily. He is promised that Charles' power is very important to them communicating with the world but this blue mutant doesn't seem or say that he wants to hurt Charles. So Erik complies. Ignoring every word the telepath says to him before and after the kidnapping.

Though as En Sabah Nur is forcing Charles to send his message to the world, and Charles sends his own message instead...it's enough to bring the slightest of smirks to Erik's face.

 _So stubborn, always so stubborn._

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

He's ever so focused, all of his thoughts drowning out his grief and instead just feeling the earth metals as he's pulling them up and ripping them apart. Erik does, however, hear Raven's voice when she calls to him. "I know you're hurting with your loss Erik. But you need to think about what you have left, are you willing to fight for it? You still have me, we're family...you still have Charles, he would never abandon you no matter what. You know that." And he does know that.

It's just so damn hard to work through this, seeing Nina's face lifeless at such a young age. It takes him time to try to think through this like Raven wants, to calm himself down and realize this was exactly what Charles had tried to teach him from in the beginning. So Erik spends awhile still pulling at the earth but just trying to use it as a means to calm his mind, and that's when he overhears it.

Overhears what En Sabah Nur had actually been planning to do with Charles. He just briefly hears it when Storm and Psylocke are passing by in a rush and saying something about the others interfering with the transfer. He hadn't signed up for that, there was no way Erik was going to lose Charles to anyone if he could do anything about it.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Together they all manage to destroy the old mutant. Grief is still heavy in his chest but Erik rushes to make sure the thing he was protecting wasn't lost as well. Charles.

Finding the others as well, Erik falls to his knees around the unconscious Charles Xavier, he's breathing but he looks so tired. Hank looks relieved though and says, "Let's get to the plane, I think we all need to get to a hotel and rest." Since apparently the mansion had been destroyed a few days ago. "How should we-?" one of the younger students was gesturing to his professor.

Erik immediately said, "I've got him." easing his hands under Charles' legs and behind his shoulder before hefting him up and taking him to the plain. He's also the one, alongside Raven, who helps get him into a hotel bed. "Raven I have no right to ask this of you but...may I be the one to watch over him tonight?"

The girls' familiar yellow eyes stare him down with a frown but she sighs, "Yes I'll let you, just tonight. Get me if anything happens." Her voice is stern with love for her brother as she leaves, giving the telepath one last little look over before the door closes behind her.

Reaching Erik brushes a strand of brown hair from Charles' forehead, "I'm so sorry my friend. I know I let my anger, my pain, my grief always get the better of me. This time I'm just happy I overcame it in time before I lost you." Taking the smaller mans limp hand and holding it between his own, Erik pressed a kiss softly on it. "When you wake up I want to talk, a lot. I want to tell you everything about them...my wife, my daughter...I know you would have loved them both."

Erik can feel hot tears rolling down his cheeks as his burning eyes never leave Charles for a moment other than to blink. "I'm done running from things, pain, fear, love...you. I just want to feel whole again like I did with you so long ago, like I did with them...please make this whole in my chest go away."

He knows Charles won't turn him away. Maybe they have things to work through, maybe they won't be in love like they used to be and that's fine with Erik. He's just lost his wife and child, right now all he needs is someone who cares about him like Charles does and won't expect more from him than he's capable of giving.

Maybe one day though, when he's able to work through this pain properly, he'll be able to take Charles to their graves and tell all three of them how much he loves them all.


End file.
